Let Me Tell You a Secret
by Vivacie
Summary: It’s been four years. Four long years since Claire has seen Quil. Things change and people move on. Can Quil change her mind before it’s too late? “Love me and I may be forced to love you.” **Quil/Claire**
1. Memory Lane

:D This is my new story, which I'm super excited about and I really have no idea why.  
Who knew writing could be this much fun?

A major thanks to everyone who has supported me unconditionally. Without y'all, I wouldn't be writing this. :)

* * *

"_Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" _

_-- Gillian Anderson_

--

"Why are you doing this again?" The woman who gave me life asked.

I smiled a little at that. Why _was_ I doing this? My sudden urge to spend a month at Aunt Emily's house was unusual. Content with the world Claire, was always tacked onto me some way or another. Not that I minded, but lately I've begun to wonder, "what if", what if I just went out and tried something new, did something because I wanted to. It was an exhilarating feeling to explore the unknown- even if it was just little old La Push.

"Claire." She said sternly.

"Mother." I stopped my folding of clothes to give her a glare, an exasperated sigh followed, "I'm doing this because _I_ want to." It was an honest answer and the closest to what she would want to hear.

Her heels clicked impatiently as she crossed the room, "What if this is a big mistake? Imagine, everything you've worked toward, the things you've gained, all gone. Claire. _Claire_, I just don't want to see that happen. La Push is-"

"Not a place you want to be." I finished for her. Ever since I was fifteen, she's hounded me with speeches on why to stay away from La Push. She was my own personal spokesperson, it was like the 'don't do drugs' campaign, except not as healthy. I've never understood her distaste and advocacy to that subject. When I was thirteen, we moved away to Vienna, Maryland- where I am now. Population, three hundred, and absolutely nothing to do but stare at the water and hope to see a mermaid.

The last time I visited La Push, I was fifteen and it barely lasted long enough to be called a visit. The jolly giants were always there to lighten the mood, much to my moms' displeasure, but mostly my visit consisted of being isolated from almost everyone except Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam. Unfortunately, for mom, she couldn't watch me every minute and I was able to sneak away with my best friend. Quil.

Thinking of Quil brought up old thoughts and I was abruptly pulled into that forgotten memory.

--

"_Come on! Hurry up!" I urge Quil. My voice is low as we make our way to the backdoor. It's one of those rare moments that mom isn't watching me._

"_I'm going to get in trouble." He complains, a chuckle hidden under his breath._

"_You mean that I am. Not you." I correct as we slither out Aunt Emilys' backdoor._

"_Wrong." Quil grins at me. It's the grin that he reserves only for me. He's uses it all the time when he's with me. My heart thumps and a gigantic lump forms in my throat. I really do like his smile. I've missed it so much. "Claire?" He questions, pulling me out of my moment._

"_Mhm?" I smile angelically and we start to race toward his house. We know that, if at any second, my mom looks out the window we're dead. But we're willing to take that risk. Thankfully, it is not that far away. I've been there plenty of times in the past. _

_The corner creeps up on us quickly and as we veer sharply to the left, the woods block our view from the house._

_Quil crows in delight, "We made it!"_

"_Idiot. We're not even there yet." I pant. My short legs were working in overtime, heaving with exhaustion and adrenaline. It's been a long time since I've just ran because I could. _

"_Poor Claire." Quil teases and scoops me up into his arms, just like he did when I was a kid. He's so strong. _

_My arms are crossed in defiance, but I'm grateful, I'm not the most active person. With Quils jogging, it took merely a quarter of the time it would have taken us if I had been running with him. I always manage to hinder Quil in someway, but somehow he finds a way to overlook it, no matter what the situation._

_With the turn of a knob, we're inside his house. How I've missed this place! Nothing can compare to snacking out all day and watching poorly plotted comedies with your best friend. Quil dumps me onto the couch beside Embry and heads toward the kitchen. It's like the last two years haven't existed- as if we've always been together._

"_Jailbreak?" Embry asks casually. _

"_Right-o." I smile and steal some of his chips, "My favorite." I say as I grab a handful of sour-cream and onion Lay's._

"_Get your own!" He playfully slaps my hand away and tries to steal back his chips, "Quiiilll." He whines, smirking in my direction. I give him my own smirk back, he should know by now that Quil is on my side._

_Quils head pops out from the kitchen. The smell of popcorn fills the air and my stomach rumbles. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!_

"_Make Embry be nice." My hand reaches for the chip bag again and he stretches further away from me, trying to save his precious snack._

"_Make Claire be nice." Embry hops up, letting me fall face first into the empty space he once was, "Aw, Claire, you don't have to bow for me. A simple, "Can I please have some chips, King Embry," would have done nicely."_

_I snort, pushing myself into a sitting position, "I come home, and this is how you treat me?" _

_Embry makes a dramatic noise as he flops onto the couch and hugs onto me, "Claire-Bear," He sings, "oh, how I've missed you!"_

_A groan escapes my mouth, "Don't call me that."_

"_Why not?" Quil magically appears on my other side, offering popcorn seasoned with cheese. I gratefully take some and stuff it in my mouth._

"_Cause, I'm not a kid anymore." My free hand pushes Embry away from me, well, more like me away from Embry. Embry is just as solid as Quil. I doubt a bulldozer could move them._

"_Claire…" Quil trails off, there's something in his tone I don't like. I notice he is unusually tense after that. Have I said something wrong?_

"_Don't you Claire me. It's true and you know it." I huff. This isn't helping my argument any. If anything it's making me look even more like a child._

"_Erm, I'm going to take off." Embry says awkwardly and ruffles my hair, "See ya later, _Kiddo_."_

"_Stupid." I mumble and try to fix my hair by pulling it back into low ponytail._

_Quil is quiet for the first time since I've been with him today. I can feel the tension in the room and it suffocates me. I turn, pulling my legs into a cross-legged position and stare at him. He has to crack sometime. _

_I wait and wait as he stares aimlessly at the wall. Why isn't he talking to me? Doesn't he realize we have very little time to hang out before I'm ripped away from him again? For some reason, I just want to shake him and make him come out of his daze. My head rests against the couch and my fingers drum against my leg in staccato patterns._

_Without seeming to think about it, Quil takes my hand in his. "I missed you while you were gone, ya know? You'll always be my Claire-Bear, no matter what." He gently tugs me forward and his thick arms wrap around my shoulders, "Did you know that everyday without you has been painful?" His voice is a mere whisper and I'm not sure if I was supposed to hear that._

_A sigh escapes my lips. It is impossible for me to stay mad at Quil. "I missed you too." I settle against him, my head lying against his bicep, "I wish I could stay here and not go back to Vienna."_

"_Me too, baby love." _

_I roll my eyes, "Again with the nicknames." I moan, burying my face in his arm. Quil always smells great, a woodsy smell that can calm anyone. How long would it be before I get to see him again? Two years was forever, would it be another two? Could I survive it?_

_Quil chuckles and I bounce against him, "Love you, Claire." He says as he forces me to look at him and his mischievous eyes. _

_A pout forms on my mouth and I let out another long sigh, "Love you too, Quil." _

"_Good, but I'll always love you more" His teeth are blindly white as he smiles. I've always wondered if he brushes he teeth every hour. How else would they be that white?_

_I open my mouth to reply, but the front door bangs open, slamming against the wall behind it._

_Embry comes dancing into the room, never staying in one spot for more than five seconds. He stops right in front of me and points a finger, wiggling it for extra effect, "Missy, you are in _big_ trouble. Mama bear is on her way over here. Better skedaddle." _

_This isn't good. I look at Quil, hopping he has some kind of solution, but he's staring at me. Is he confused as to what to do too? _

"_Told you I'd get in trouble." Quil smiles, it's a sad one this time._

"_But-" I try to say, but he cuts me off. It was my idea to come here, to just get away from everyone else so we could have our Quil and Claire time._

"_Don't worry, Claire." He squeezes my shoulders in reassurance and gives me his world famous Quil kiss on the head. _

"_Claire!" Moms screeching voice cuts in, hard and angry._

_--_

Mom, Quil, Uncle Sam, and Aunt Emily were in a heated argument for hours while I stayed upstairs with Aubrey, dad was away on business during that trip like always. In the end, whatever had been said to mom really pissed her off. She never took me back to La Push and that was the last time I saw Quil Ateara.

Leaving Quil the second was _almost_ as hard as the first. The first time was the most painful memory I have ever been given.

_--_

_My clothing is soaking wet. It's sticking to me in uncomfortable ways, slowing me down as I run. Puddles splash on me as my feet sink into them, slinging mud up on my jeans. I can't stop. If I stop, I'll never get to him. That thought alone pushes me forward. _

_Tears streak down my face, losing themselves in the downpour. Today is ruined. My life is ruined. I moan to myself. If only I was an adult! Then I wouldn't be bossed around. _

_The little red house comes into view, my safe haven. My bare feet thump noisily as I run up the stairs and I barge inside. My chest is heaving with exertion and my body is shaking due to the wet clothes I'm wearing. I run to the living room. No one is there. Is he not here? I check the kitchen, it's empty too. _

_My feet carry me to his bedroom door and I don't think twice as I enter. Quil is piled up in bed, his bare feet hanging off it, and his snores coming out in soothing patterns. _

"_Quil?" I call. My voice is hoarse from the yelling match I had with mom._

_His head eases up and his eyes lock on my face. Instantly, he's up and at my side before I had time to even acknowledge it, "Claire-Bear? What's wrong?" Quils voice is heavy with sleep, it has a certain roughness to it. _

_My teeth start to chatter, "She-she." I start, but I can't finish._

_A blanket wraps around me and I'm pulled into Quils arms. He gently rocks me back and forth, "You're going to get sick." He murmurs. _

_I have to tell Quil. I have to tell him. "She's moving us Quil! To the town with the name of a sausage!" I wail out. _

_His body stills, "What?" Somehow, Quils voice is weak and broken. Is Quil just as scared as I am? Does he not want to be away from me like I don't want to be away from him? _

"_Moms moving us to Maryland." I sob into his chest. My fingers dig into his shoulder and Quil just clutches me tighter, "Make her change her mind, Quil? Please? She can't move me away. I won't go. I won't!" I barely understand myself, but Quil always understands me. _

"_We'll rally the troops." His attempt to be funny is in vain. A deep sigh envelops the two of us, "We'll get things sorted out, baby love. Promise." There's a underlying worry that I pick up. Quil can't be sure of anything involving my mom. _

_I believe his promise though. _

_--_

"Claire!" Mom huffed, bringing me out of my daydreaming, "Why do you want to do this so bad?" All this badgering was going to give me gray hairs.

"When I find out, I'll tell you." Moms face turned an unhealthy shade of red, "Besides, I'm nineteen. You can't exactly keep me here." I never play the "I'm an adult now" card- it was a dirty move. But as a voting citizen, a college attendee, and a payer of my own car insurance, I wanted the acknowledgment that I was truly an adult and that I could make decisions about my future on my own.

"Don't come back and make me say, "I told you so."" Her tone was snippy and I knew what was coming next, "You're not like your sister at all-"

"Thank God for that." I interrupted.

She continued as if I hadn't spoken, "If Aubrey were in your position, she wouldn't go to some no name town just for the sake of traveling! Honestly, Claire, nothings waiting for you there. You're wasting a month when you could be-"

"I get it." I snapped. Talking about Aubrey was one of the only things that would make me break my calm demeanor. Aubrey, the prodigal daughter, never shunned for anything, even when she got pregnant before she was married- something mom had preached to us about since we popped out of her uterus. It's not that I didn't love her, but after awhile of things repeating itself, it gets a little tiring. "I'm not changing my mind about this."

I resumed folding my winter clothes into the luggage bag, neatly stacking them in piles, trying to get the most room I could. From previous trips, I knew the little reservation of La Push was cold. Colder than cold. I wasn't willing to risk getting pneumonia again.

Her voice was calm, hiding her raging demon on the inside, "OK. I see. Call me when you land." With that, she strode out of the room, her heels slapping against the mahogany floor, almost as if they were hitting someone. _Slap_, _slap_, _slap_. They continued to echo down the stairs, until she hit the plush carpet of the living room.

"That went well." I muttered sarcastically, slamming my suit case closed.

Everything was packed up. My one month stay in La Push was finally here.

Watch out Quil, your best friend is coming back in town.

* * *

I've pretty much planned out the whole story on my cause and effect chart. (Why yes, I do make those.) There's still some details to work out, but mostly I know what's going to happen.

I'll be updating this story in-between my other one or just whenever I have the time. :D

**FYI:** Claire is nineteen in this story.


	2. Welcome home, Claire

*Nervous laugh* Hi, everyone. I know, I know. I suck at updating. Sorry. D:  
My computer has been fixed for a good long while now. (It actually crashed AGAIN a month after I fixed it. *pouts*)

Thank you for the reviews and kind words! I hope you enjoy the newest chapter, and stick with me through the chapters to come.**  
Also: Breaking Dawn has happened, unfortunately. Claire does NOT know about werewolves/vampires, _anything_.  
Refreshing your memory:** _Claire had just finished packing and was on her way to La Push._ :)

Please pardon any mistakes- I'm my own Beta. ;]

* * *

"Yeah dad, I've already sent mom a text. I'll be fine. It's just for a month." I told him through my phone. Aunt Emily was late. After I had called her announcing my arrival at the Quillayute Airport, she had apologetically informed me that she was running behind and was to be expected in forty minutes. Dad picked the opportune time to call. He's always had an uncanny sense of knowing when I was alone or bored.

"Be careful." He stressed in a much abused fatherly voice, and then his tone lightened, "Find what makes you happy, sunshine."

For some reason those words alone brought a smile to my face, "You know me. I'm always happy with anything."

I could hear him sighing on the other end, "That's what I'm afraid of." He muttered, "Just do me a favor. Keep your eyes open and take a chance."

"Isn't that what I'm doing?" I was beyond a little confused. Dad wasn't the advocate in keeping me away from La Push- that was always mom. He always told me, "Believe in the impossible. Otherwise, you'll never know when you might meet someone who could change your life for forever." Dad was the dreamer, the explorer, always off to a new place, onto a new adventure. He liked the thrill of the unknown and to be where he didn't understand a single thing. To figure out something for himself or to discover something previously undiscovered, that was his number one goal. I guess I received just a little bit of that. It made me happy to have something in common with one of my family members, if it wasn't for that insignificant discovery, I could almost swear I had been adopted, "So, how is Tokyo?" I asked changing the subject.

"Tokyo was fine. I'm actually off to Melbourne now."

"Melbourne? Like the toast?"

"No, sunshine. Australia." He clarified, "After this trip I'm coming home. I should arrive back when you do. That is, if you're even coming back."

"Call me crazy, but you want me to stay, permanently, on the other side of the country?"

"Depends. We lived there once. If you wanted to live there again, I would convince your mom to let you move back. Within reason, though." He added sternly.

"I don't understand. I thought you and mom hated La Push? Why did we move then?"

"We don't hate La Push, your mom just has trouble dealing with things out of her control- you _know_ this."

I knew it, "It was moms fault we moved." To have it confirmed out loud made her distaste real. He could say she didn't hate La Push, but mom hated something that was _in_ La Push. So much so, that it caused her to uproot her family. It was like she wanted to put as much _distance_ as possible between La Push and our family.

"You could say that. You know, you could always change your mind about those plans with-"

I withheld a groan and the urge to squeeze my phone into tiny pieces. Not this again, "Dad. A _father_ would be happy for his daughter. Instead, you're acting like I'm committing the crime of the century. Be a bit more supportive."

"So, you want honesty?" He asked skeptical.

"Not really. I already know what you're going to say." He chuckled on the other end, "Please be a happy father?"

It was quiet for a moment, almost as if he had hung up on me, "Nope. My little sunshine deserves someone better than-"

"Oh look there! Aunt Emily is here! Have to go, dad. Love you." I said quickly ending the call. It would be best to avoid his rants and exaggerated opinions.

"Claire?" Aunt Emily called out timidly- almost as if she was unsure of who I was, "Oh, goodness! It is you!"

A bright and happy one-sided smile was on her face as she paraded her way toward me. She was still the same as she was in my memories. Surprisingly she was wrinkle free and a healthy, almost unnatural, glow surrounded her- much the opposite of mom thanks to Aubreys' midnight escapades. Her crow black hair was braided and hung over her shoulder. At first glance, you might think she was a college student coming to pick up her sister. I would have never guessed she was a mom, or even an Aunt for that matter.

"You've changed so much!" She gushed excitedly, holding me at arms length, "I see you've grown out of your Tomboy ways." Her eyes twinkled as she took in my appearance.

Sure, I wasn't wearing Nike's and an old t-shirt, holding a bucket while begging Quil to take me to beach to retrieve pretty colored rocks. I wasn't five years old anymore. It was to be expected that I would develop a different taste in clothing, especially surrounded by a mother and sister who breathed in fancy clothes like someone dying of oxygen. Today, I thought I looked a bit casual, a ruffled shirt surrounded by a petite coat, and dark blues jeans tucked inside wool boots- not including the jewelry and scarf wrapped around my neck.

A slow blush crept over my cheeks. I was _slightly_ overdressed compared to Aunt Emily, "Things just rubbed off on me, I guess." We embraced for a moment and I felt like I was a kid again being hugged by mom, but this was a maternal embrace, as if I were her own. Aunt Emily was truly a kindred soul. My heart felt lighter and a joy and warmth I hadn't felt since I was kid crept along my skin.

"You even dyed your hair! I thought you had sworn off all things girly." She chuckled as if remembering something and pulled one of my red highlighted brown curls, "Things sure have changed, haven't they?" She said in a hushed whisper, her tan hands tracing over my cheeks.

We were in a much sadder time than I wanted to admit. It was family reunion, but soon I would be going away again, and the reunion would end as it always does. Could I say goodbye for the third time? Internally, I sighed. No, I didn't have a choice. "Does everyone know I'm here?"

She glanced at me weirdly for a moment, almost as if she could see through my little awkward distraction, "Everyone." Aunt Emily agreed, "They're all excited. Some more than others." She laughed a moment and winked at me.

I pursed my lips. Quil knew I was back then. He _should_ have been the one to pick me up. After all, we're best friends. _Right_? Some deep, dark, part of me was scared that Quil had forgotten about me. Or that he had gained a new best friend to replace me. It was only natural to replace someone. I never did though. It was something I was unable to do. Quil was just an irreplaceable person in my life. Selfishly I wished that he hadn't replaced me either. If he had, well, I guess I could deal with it. I would _have_ to deal with it. He was a grown man after all. What interest could he have hanging around a barely legal adult? I was merely a misplaced yard ornament in his life now.

"Come on, Claire. Let's go home."

--

Aunt Emily drove a soccer mom van- generic blue, two baby seats, and a DVD player that could entertain any kid with all the movies she had stored up in there. Did one van really need three copies of "Lilo & Stitch"? It made me wonder just how many kids did she have? I remembered Abby Leigh, who was just a few years younger than I was and then there was Samuel who should be around ten now. That meant she had to have at least four, if not more. It made sense. Aunt Emily was family oriented -big crowds of loved ones and the possibility to make food, were what she lived for. Not to mention that special bond between her and Uncle Sam. The look of total commitment. Even when I was younger, I knew what it meant. They were so deeply in love that nothing could tear them apart. Back then, I associated them with cooties- the most awful thing on the planet. Now, I found it a bit endearing.

It was a short ride compared to the endless flight I had took to get here. The airport itself wasn't but a few miles from where Aunt Emily lived. It made me wonder what postponed her, but knowing Aunt Emily, she had decked out everything for my arrival. You could always rely on her for a good party and good food to go along with it. A home cooked meal was something I looked forward to. It had been years since anyone had fixed a meal for me- 'fend for yourself' was the motto in our kitchen. Chicken noodle soup was getting a bit tiring anyway.

The anticipation was rising as we turned down a familiar road. I could recall so many memories that went with this road, many that I wished I could capture and preserve forever in a timeless bottle. We were _so_ close. I was back in La Push. Finally. Was this how coming _home_ felt? After all, Maryland was still a strange place; it could never be called my home. No matter what.

"Claire." Aunt Emily's soft-spoken voice cut in, startling me, "I'm glad you're here, sweetie, but coming so suddenly…is something the matter?"

I gaped silently at her. I didn't remember saying anything aloud to her. As far as I knew, I had great acting skills and I could make a lie believable, not that I ever needed to, but it was always a handy skill.

"Don't look so shocked. I could tell something was wrong over the phone. I'm not going to pry." She turned her head to smile tenderly at me, "Tell me whenever you're ready."

I managed a weak smile in return. The woman had a gift- and truthfully, it scared me that I was read so easily. I could hardly admit that Aunt Emily was right about my motives. Maybe I wouldn't need to stay a month in La Push like I thought. A few days, maybe a week or two tops. Of course, I had the selfish impulse to stay here permanently, as dad had mentioned earlier. I wish he wouldn't tell me things like that. I always got it in my head and it would torture me mercilessly.

When I looked up and focused on my surroundings, I noticed we were already there. The insides of my abdominal wall clenched painfully as I gazed at the two story house in front of me. Was I nervous? This was an emotion I hadn't felt in, well, forever. "Claire just doesn't do nervous." That was always said about me whenever I preformed in plays. How could I, Claire, be nervous about meeting old friends and family? Pfft, that wasn't possible. After all, nervousness just wasn't an option for me.

There was nothing to be afraid of, I chanted as I swung open the door. It collided with something hard and bounced back. Before I had time to react a hand was right in front of my face- right where the door would have slammed. Close call. It had all happened so fast. Did I really almost get hit in the face with the passenger door? Nothing was processing- because technically there was nothing to process. I blinked a few times and looked at the person the hand connected to.

The door facing obscured part of the mans face, but I would have known it anywhere. It was in my dearest dreams, my fading memories, and my worn out pictures. All of which were slowly degrading at an alarming pace- till now. This face was here, in the present. This person wasn't a dream or a memory of my life before. This person was within my grasp. So close. Oh, so close.

"Quil." I breathed, as he pulled the door back revealing the same Quil I had been best friends with. But he wasn't the same Quil. No. Not the same. With my grown eyes I saw him in a new light, one that I couldn't have even begun to imagine him in when I was a child of innocence. This Quil was ruggedly handsome, with sharp features cut with the cleanest blade. I tried comparing the Quil from my childhood with this one- the old picture didn't appear there was only the present Quil shadowing over the past.

Should I hug him? Should I jump into his arms like I did as a child? I wanted to- even if it was just for a moment. His lips twitched up into a smile I hadn't seen in ages. That said expression made my decision for me. I leapt out of the van and threw my arms around his neck. For a half second he was stiff as a board, as if he wasn't expecting it, as if he didn't know what to think of it. Then the world around me started to spin and I recognized Quils happy laugh. His arms locked in a vice grip around my waist and the blur of colors zooming past my eyes all felt so natural.

It felt like home.

"Put her down, Quil!" Aunt Emily chastised, "She's going to be sick to her stomach if you keep it up!"

Abruptly, I was back on my own two feet, slightly tipsy, but one of Quils strong arms hooked itself around my shoulders acting as a stabilizer. I nodded my thanks to Emily as she gave the both of us -of what I would call- 'the look of approval'. It was as if it brought her delight just seeing the two us back together. I mean, I was just as happy and I didn't need to be jumping up and down to prove my point.

Quils' arm didn't stay on my shoulders for long, soon he stepped to the side, and his eyes appraised me. It was followed by an awkward silence. Now that we had both gotten over the shock of seeing one another, we were brought to the awkward, you look different stage. Or maybe time had just been too much for our friendship to handle. That was really hard to judge just by silence though.

He cleared his throat once and bit his lip, "Claire." I nodded, acknowledging that I was indeed, Claire, girl from the past, "You, uh, you've grown up."

My head rolled to the side, "And you, you've finally grown up as well."

Quils' brows shot up to his hairline, "Should I take that as an insult?"

A smile played along my lips, "A compliment." I said, waving my hand dismissively.

He started to ring his hands, unsure of what to do or say.

I wanted to say something. Maybe, ask him how he's been or if he's finally stopped sharing a house with Embry. I couldn't bring myself to, not even after traveling thousands of miles.

My eyes flickered to the giant making his stealthy approach toward me. He groaned when he caught me looking.

"You're such a party pooper. Come on, here I was all sneaky and then you had to look." Embry made a face and took a few more steps, "My, my, my. Claire has filled out nicely. I call dibs." He flicked his fingers one by one, calculating something only Embry would know- rather something only his slightly disturbed mind would think up.

"Dibs?" I mouthed.

Embry winked at me, "It would be worth your while."

"Stop being full of shit." Quil griped, kicking a few rocks in his direction.

"She wants it. Little innocent Claire is just too afraid to admit it." Embry taunted.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. It was nice to know Embry was still the same old Embry.

"Claire." My aunt called, "Come on, let's get-"

She didn't get very far before the front door burst open. Uncle Sam came rushing out with a nervous expression and as his tight eyes settled on me he gave me a quick hug- so quick in fact that I almost doubted he did hug me.

"Claire-bear. You look well." He then proceeded to go to Emily and whisper something in her ear, not even letting me say anything back.

I was the only one with the dumbfounded expression on their face.

"Looks like we're up." Embry moaned, "Claire, don't eat all the food while we're gone." He tsked, "That means the chips too."

My brows crumpled, "You're leaving? Already?"

He shrugged and Quil answered for him, "Remember we're the _police_ of La Push? Nothings changed."

"Oh." That's right. Quil always told me he was part of the La Push security. I couldn't imagine what went on for so many men to be employed. Gang activity maybe?

"Don't look so worried." Quil laughed and patted my head, "We're always okay. Go inside now." He added, pushing my back slightly, trying to get me to walk up the stairs.

My Aunts arm slipped through mine, "Come on, they'll be back soon."

I gave one fleeting glance toward Quil as he waved goodbye, and then I was dragged inside.

--

It had been a few hours, I wasn't keeping track, but my welcoming committee had been gone for a very long time. To keep myself occupied, I had unpacked, eaten (downed a bag of chips, just for Embry), and I had even showered the disgusting plane goop off of myself, and now I was chatting with Aunt Emily- actually it was more like she was doing all the talking, I was doing the listening.

"Things haven't changed a bit." She said, scrubbing her weights worth of dishes- not letting me help for I was a guest, "Well, I had a few more kids, but like I said everything is the same as ever. Jacob moved off with Nessie two years ago, I told them you were coming back. You know Jake though, hardheaded and head-over-heels. Nessie wants to visit before you leave, she might be here and she might not. Girls unpredictable." She shook her head once and sighed, "You haven't visited in awhile, we thought it might've been my sisters doing, but then I thought you might've gotten sick of La Push. You moved away at such a young age, it's a miracle that you even remember us." She paused, waiting for me to say something and then continued on as if it didn't matter, "Oh! And Quil, he never once forgot to ask me if you had called, or if I knew how you were doing. I swear. He wanted you to write to him or something, call him, but I always asked him why didn't he write to you, call you, and go to see you. He's afraid of your mother, can you believe that? She breaths fire, but that's about the worst she can do." Aunt Emily laughed for a moment and turned to face me, "Quils really missed you, it's just, you're not the Claire everyone remembers. You used to smile a lot more, a real happy smile." She whispered.

A lump caught itself in my throat, it made it hard to speak, "I still smile." I defended feebly.

"And the moons made of cheese." Aunt Emily turned back around, busying herself once again, "How have you been Claire? You've graduated, if I remember correctly."

"Yes." I agreed, a tad annoyed by her first comment, "I just finished up my first semester at college, I'm not sure if I'll finish though. Other than that, I've been well."

Emily was displeased by the lack of information, "Any boyfriends worth mentioning?"

"Not at the moment."

She paused, probably puzzled by my words.

I took that as my chance, "So, what about your kids? Where are they?"

"Ah, they're with my mother-in-law. You'll meet them tomorrow. Abby remembers you. Watch out for her, she's thrilled a girl her age will be in the same house. Apparently, she tired of all the men that come through this house." She chuckled once, "She has a knack for driving house occupants crazy. Just a warning."

"I bet she looks just like you." I mused.

"No, no, she received more of Sam than me. Abby has my eyes and lips though, personality wise, not so much."

We lapsed into silence after that. The thunder of an approaching storm echoed in the distance. My first day back in La Push and I hadn't even received a proper greeting. My friends were still not home by nightfall and I assumed that whatever had happened must be big. Instead of going straight to bed once it reached eight, Aunt Emily I watched a movie- one of those Lifetime flicks with the familiar plot and characters that could be compared with all the others, an addicting movie nonetheless.

Before I drifted off into an unaware state, I could swear I heard the victorious howling of a pack of wolves, and then there was unconsciousness.

* * *

So, I'm a little rusty, things will get better. I'm still shaping Claire, her personality is different, not completely sarcastic and she's very rational/sensible- not something I'm used to dealing with (if you've taken a peek at my other stories). Bear with me. (LOL, yeah, I reread this story with an British accent. It all sounds so formal. )  
Don't worry, Quil will appear more next chapter. *nods*

I'll update when I can. Just know that it won't be months and months like last time. :D

**Reviews are encouraged. :D **


	3. Here Comes the Bride

OMG. Sorry. Months and months later, I still haven't posted anything. I'm such a little liar, aren't I?  
Now that I've finished WoP, I have more time to devote to LMTYAS. =]

This one's short, but a short chapter is better than no chapter, eh?  
Tons of Quil/Claire conversation here. Yay!

* * *

Waking up in La Push, was like waking up in my little own slice of heaven. When had I last heard birds chirping in the morning instead of car horns and the shrilling yells of my mother? Entirely too long. It was peaceful here. So much so, I thought I was still dreaming until the sereneness was shattered when loud playful shouts rang up the stairs.

"Claire's a rotten egg! She's still in bed!"

I groaned, reaching for my black rimmed glasses- the replacement for my contacts. The movement was sluggish and rubbery. A time zone difference of three hours really worked on my body, but it could have been worse. Slowly, I stood up and debated: should I wear my pajamas down stairs or should I change? Being caught in my silk nightgown wasn't exactly the most pleasing of thoughts. The latter won out and I played it casual with jeans and an eyelet shirt. Couldn't get anymore casual than that, well, at least _I_ couldn't.

When I hit the stairs, my senses experienced overload in several ways. The first was smell. Pancakes, syrup, bacon, eggs, butter- so many wonderful aromas! My mouth watered at the mental images of said smells. Then there was sound. Voices that were steady and reassuring, like a bass, and its counterparts alto and soprano danced between one another. They were distinct, yet not harmonized, more of a constant babble. Lastly, there was sight. Part of the men were shirtless, strutting women on their finely toned arms, acting like they had no care in the world. It almost looked comical, if not strange to my eyes. Kids, ranging from diapers to my age were wearing less clothing than I was. Another weird yet less important detail.

I hadn't taken five steps when a bouncing dyed blonde teen blocked my way, "Hey, you're Claire. Everyone's been talking about you. You know, the usual Rez gossip." She rubbed her hands together and smiled with a brace filled mouth.

"Good things, of course?" I asked, trying to keep my mouth from flapping partially.

She stopped, smile fading a smidge and then bit her lip, "Depends." She then clamped her hand on my shoulder, "I'm Abby by the way. Your designated expert on all things La Push and gossip."

"She's also the designated headache giver." Quil said, cutting in smoothly and handing me a plate piled with breakfast food.

"You're one to talk." She muttered stubbornly.

He grinned wickedly at her defeat and then cleared his throat, "Well, Claire, do you, uh…"

"Want to go to the usual place?" I finished for him, ignoring the way Abby cackled at Quil.

"That. Yes, the usual place. Let's go there." He led the way, head hung slightly, as I gave an apologetic smile to Abby and tried not to focus on how quiet the kitchen had went.

Our usual place was merely a bench located beside Aunt Emily's house that skirted the forest line. It was the place we stayed when Quils house was off limits, but that was a lifetime ago. This was our tiny bubble, a world away from worlds, just for the two of us.

"Looks like new." I said, referring to the bench as I sat down, placing my plate in my lap.

He hesitated, only for a second and took a seat next to me, "It was painted a few months back. Besides that, no one uses this bench."

"I wonder why?" I grinned, knowing the answer.

Quil just looked at me and as he started to talk, he took the bacon from his plate and put it in mine- an old habit of his, "Well, you see, it was _our_ bench. I built it and I couldn't have Embry and Collin sitting in it again, only to break it." He said, as if he _had _to explain the reason why.

"Because this place has our memories."

"Lots of memories."

"And because everything Collin touches he breaks."

"Exactly."

"Thanks for the bacon." I said, timidly reaching and eating one.

"Anytime."

The next ten or so minutes were comfortable. Familiar. Quil and I had lapsed into silence, one so relaxed that I couldn't help but smile. I was finally back in the most peaceful place in the world. It was nice. After awhile of just sitting there, feeling the breeze, Quil took in our plates, and came back with soda- which I politely declined.

My curiosity got the best of me, "So, this whole time you've been a police officer?"

"That's right."

"You don't wear a uniform?"

He turned to face me, "Claire, if you have something to say, just say it."

"It's just, I have a hard time believing that you're _still_ a police officer. There are no squad cars and La Push crime is at a bare minimal. What could you possibly have to do with security?"

"Is it _that_ unbelievable?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"Would it make it more believable if were to say I was a stripper instead?"

"Undoubtedly so."

He sighed and shook his head as he chuckled.

"Back to the original topic, it's safe to say you are an undercover officer of sorts? Kind of like a John Doe?"

There was a quiet moment, and as if old times had suddenly got the best of him, Quil took my hand in his, "We're like a special task force. Top secret. You can't say a word to anyone."

"Promise."

He whistled through his teeth, "How do I know you won't tell?"

I huffed, "I'm not five years old anymore. I'm over the blabbermouth phase, besides, I always keep my promises."

"You always, _always_, keep your promises?" Quil asked once again, an emotional tide going through his eyes.

"Always." I replied quickly.

He laughed and slumped deeper into the bench, "Does that include the promise you made you were eight?"

"My mind needs refreshing. I don't remember."

"Oh, I do. Vividly actually."

I shifted through promises I had made, but I had no recollection of any promises beyond when I was twelve. "Well, don't leave me in suspense for long."

"I have a condition." He held up the hand that wasn't holding my own and used his pointer finger to indicate one.

"What would that be?"

"To keep it."

I was a little skeptical, "Seems like a big promise."

"Are you going to keep it or not? I kind of swore myself as well."

I grinned. "By all means Quil, if it's that important to you then I promise."

His brow arched, making it look as though he was plotting something, "Like I said, you were eight years old. It was right before you moved. We were at the Seattle airport…"

Quil didn't have to say anymore, my mind conjured up the past, painting the picture in front of me, plain as day.

_--_

_It is morning and very sunny. Almost too sunny. The weather is supposed to reflect my mood, instead it matches the cheerful smile mom has in place. I think it looks wrong and out of place. She shouldn't be wearing a smile. I wish she felt as down as I do._

_I exhale; I've been holding my breath to long. Quil still isn't here._

_Uncle Sam, Aunt Emily, Nessie, Jacob, and even Embry are here. Why can't Quil be? He is always late. Picking me up from school, taking me to lunch, and even visiting me on my birthdays. He always makes it up to me though. I would trade my whole family to have my best friend Quil here on time. _

"_Claire, he's not coming." Says Nessie, my good friend._

_I give a resigned sigh, "I know, but maybe he's just stuck in traffic or something." I mumble._

_Her small arms wrap around my frame, "He's too stubborn to let traffic stop him."_

_I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. They sting my cheeks as they make their way down, "It's unfair." I whine, "I don't want to move."_

"_I don't want you to move either."_

_I cry for what feels like a long time. My eyes are swollen and I can feel the stares of passerby's wondering what is wrong. I desperately wish that I am having a bad dream that I am, in fact, still lying on Quils couch passed out from a day of watching old sitcoms. I blink, hoping a haze will appear and my wish will come true._

_It doesn't and all to soon mom is coming to me, pulling me away from Nessie, as scowl on her face. Mom doesn't allow me to hug Uncle Sam, Embry, or Jacob. Aunt Emily only rocks me back and forth for a few seconds and then I am whisked away toward the boarding gate._

_The family I am leaving behind wave sadly to me. I cannot watch them anymore, with their regretful faces and tears, it's too much for me to handle._

"_You'll like the place we're going Claire." Mom says, driving my thoughts elsewhere, "No rain, a nice home, a community with appropriate kids for you to play with…" She lists._

_Dad is unusually quiet and Aubrey is clinging to him. She almost looks depressed, but she's the type of person who doesn't get attached easily. She can't possibly understand my feelings._

"…_A private school- very prestigious..." I hear mom say._

_Private school? I do not like the idea of that._

"_Honey, I think you're going a little to fast." Dad hints, his eyes flicking in my direction. _

"_Fast would have been moving years ago. Staying with these…these barbarians has tainted our little girls." She hisses._

_Moms' words are mean; I can tell that from her tone. I only half understand what she means. Does she not like Aunt Emily anymore? Has mom been unhappy all this time? My head hurts just thinking about my parents grownup talk. _

_A lady announces that our flight is about to begin boarding. _

_I'm so scared. I don't want to leave._

"_Claire!"_

_My whole family turns their head. They also recognize that voice. _

_I feel the smile upon my face as I start to run in his direction. Quils direction. Someone's hand slides over my arm, trying to hold me back, but I'm to fast. I leave the snatcher shouting very dirty words. No one can catch me, I wouldn't let them._

_Quil's waiting with open arms as I slam into him. My smile has faded and I'm now crying once again._

"_You big jerk." I sob._

"_I know! I know!"_

"_Stupid butthead!" I wail out, my fists balling up as they attack his sides._

"_Hey," He says, pulling me back and stooping down to my level, "Didn't I say you weren't supposed to say that word?"_

"_But you are." I defend, "You're late and I didn't think you were coming…"_

_Quil kisses my head, "Guess it's my fault, huh?"_

"_This time it is."_

"_How should I make it up to you?"_

"_Claire! By the count of ten, you better be back over here! One…" _

_I gasp at my moms words and blurt out the first thing on my mind, "You have to marry me. That's the only way you can make it up to me."_

_He smiles and uses his hands to clear my face of tears, "Marry you? Is that all?"_

"_You have to promise!"_

"_Do you promise?" He asks, gently facing me toward my parents._

"_Forever and always." I say quickly._

"_Then so do I. Forever and always."_

_--_

"…and you asked for me to marry you. You promised, Claire." Quil said, finishing his sentence.

I scratched my head and looked at Quil expectantly, the urge to laugh bubbled in my chest, "That was a long time ago. You can't possibly say you want me to honor that promise."

Quil didn't laugh or smile, he was completely serious. The lines on his face, ones I hadn't noticed earlier, hardened. "A promise is a promise."

"Stop joking. You shouldn't tease me like this." I said pouting, and then jumped up to stretch.

"Joking. Yeah, that's me." He mumbled, "Jokester Quil."

My brows knitted in confusion, "You're the one of started it."

"So I was." He sighed, "You haven't told me what you've been up to these past years."

"Neither have you." I retorted, sitting down in the lush grass.

"Oh, on the contrary, I have. It's been all business for me."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, "_Fine_. I've…did several things. Ballet, college, a little traveling here and there."

Quil perked, "Where?"

"I went to France. It was breath taking there."

"Uh, that place has the, uh, tower thing, right?" He twitched uncomfortably and added, "Can't forget French fries and breadsticks."

"Eiffel Tower."

"I always get it confused." Quil admitted then laughed. "Where else?"

I hesitated slightly, "Dad took me to Italy that same trip."

"Italy. Famous for their ice cream and pizza."

"Everything is food related for you, isn't it?" He nodded, "Understandable." I muttered.

"It's a La Push thing." He said, standing up and then pulling me with him, "My appetite is insatiable."

The world started to slowly turn, "I bet you dream of cream puffs."

His teeth shown, giving a beyond white grin, "My dreams are a bit more…important than cream puffs, but enough about me. Did you…" He started looking anywhere but at me and then, as if he noticed what he was doing, focused his eyes right back onto mine, "date anyone?"

There it was- the date question. The question was seemingly easy to answer; however, it made my stomach churn just thinking about it, "Sure. I've dated quite a few people."

Quil sucked in a quick breath and I could visibly see his dark skin drain into a paler sickly brown, but it was very quick and he regained his normal color, "No one could capture your heart, huh?" He half-joked.

That struck a nerve. No use putting off the inevitable, I needed to tell Quil, "Listen, I came here to tell you-"

"Claire! Look who's here! Come quick." Called Aunt Emily from the backdoor seemingly oblivious to the serious atmosphere.

"Sorry. I'll have to tell you later." I sputtered, giving Quil an apologetic peck on the cheek. I wasted no time getting away from him. If getting interrupted wasn't a sign, then I didn't know what was.

The house still had quite a few people inside. Most had taken seats on the couch and there were a few kids in the floor playing with blocks while Embry tried to destroy the kids' creations. A normal household that's for sure.

When I took my eyes away from the guests, I saw Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam crowding around someone.

"It's nice that today is cloudy, isn't it Jake? I would've glo-" The voice cut off abruptly to someone's clearing of the throat.

I recognized the voice, still the same after all this time. I _shouldn't_ have known who it was, but the name automatically stumbled from my lips, "Nessie?"

"See, Ness, she does remember you." Said the tall Quileute man next to her.

"Oh, shut up, Jake."

Nessie stepped out from the shield of the two adults. She was the same, but a little older. Her hair still curled gracefully around her face, giving her almost an angelic feel. Chocolate eyes were brought out by shiny pink shadow and when she smiled, I could see the faintest hint of a dimple. I instantly felt jealous of her fair skin, but it was overshadowed by the fact I was very glad to see her.

"Hey." I replied lamely and waved my hand slightly.

She covered the laugh she was holding in with a cough and extended her arms, "Claire-Bear!"

After a few minutes of hugs, and a little squealing on Nessie's part, Nessie and I retreated to my room. Of course, I'd said my hellos to Jacob, but she had been rather forceful when dragging me up stairs. It was almost as if we couldn't get up there fast enough, for when the door clicked shut she automatically started to hound me with questions…starting with the least important one.

"Is that a Gucci bag?" Her eyes were large and glassy as she took stock of the purse that sat on my nightstand.

"Yes and no you can't have it."

Nessie bit her lip, "It's really cute…"

"Did you come all this way to stare at my purse? Because that's quite a waste of trip."

"No, no, of course not." Her attention diverted back to me, "I came for you, silly. It's not everyday you hear your long lost friend is back in town. Besides, I've been meaning to visit mom and dad."

"I heard you moved off with Jacob." I stood awkwardly next to the wall, not quite leaning on it.

The fairness of her skin became a darker, "I did. We're on a bonding experience; you should try it with Quil. Maybe you two will fall in love as well."

My eyes felt permanently froze open, until I came to my senses, and blinked hard and long, "Sorry. Quil and I aren't like that. It's great that you and Jacob are together, but isn't he to _old_ for you?" I said the last bit with a mere whisper.

Nessie plopped on my bed, neatly crossing her legs, "Old? Is it necessary to bring age into a relationship? Jake and I are perfectly compatible. What's a few years difference when you've found your soul mate?"

"Soul mate? You really believe in that stuff?

Her face went emotionless and then she shook her head, "Believing isn't the hard part."

I snorted, "So, a woman should thwart every man that comes her way until she feels that she has met _the_ man? It doesn't work that way and if it did, we would end up lonely with only our fantasies of what could have been."

"You would take any man who asked you to marry him?" Nessies' eyes narrowed into slits.

"If you love that man, you don't hesitate."

There was something about the way her body stiffened, it made me wary, "Shouldn't you have said, if you loved that man, you wouldn't hesitate?"

"I guess you're right."

"Why did you say it that way?" She pressed. I opened my mouth to protest her outrageous behavior when she cut me off, "Are you married? Getting married?"

There it was again. The personal date question. And this time I knew I had no choice but to say it outright.

"Yes, I'm getting married. In less that a month."

Nessies high-pitched scream filled the room, accompanied by words that sounded like, "What? You're getting married?!"

I didn't have time to respond to her words, I was utterly shocked by her outburst, because just a few seconds later the men from downstairs had forced their way into my room. They looked confused, maybe even a little disgruntled. News must have traveled fast within the short amount of time, between Jacob consoling Nessie and Uncle Sam barking complaints, Quil came upstairs in the mix.

It was by that time I noticed everyone looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say the magic words.

"Surprise?"

* * *

Finally, we're making progress.

I really love the flash back scenes, so I will most likely include a few more as the story goes on.  
Thank you lovely reviewers, and I'm dearly sorry to all my readers for taking so long.


	4. Denial: The Mad Man

I'm shocked. Another chappie so soon?! Yeah, I am _mighty _proud myself.  
This story is actually going to wrap up within ten or so chapters, I hope- possibly less.

Enjoy the latest installment of LMTYAS. :)

* * *

_Nessies high-pitched scream filled the room, accompanied by words that sounded like, "What? You're getting married?!" _

…

_It was by that time I noticed everyone looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say the magic words._

"_Surprise?"_

_

* * *

  
_

My sudden declaration was taken fairly well- up until the point where I said my fiancé was an Italian-American whom I had met while in Italy. For some reason, they all asked the same question, "You're not getting married to Quil?" They were saddened and a little wary when I said no. It made me think Quil hadn't been joking when he said he wanted to marry me, even now, so many years later. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

I was with Aunt Emily, her daughter, and Nessie, outside on the patio discussing my wedding and my to-be wed status.

"It seems surreal." Nessie mused and then went back to chewing her nail.

"Excellent gossip."

"Abby." Aunt Emily warned and rearranged her scarred face into an encouraging smile, "So, who is he? What's his name? What is he like?"

I took a long swallow of my water, "His name is Rafaela. He's the son of an important Italian diplomat."

"Stop right there." Abby moved in closer from her spot on the ground, her face was pinched, "So, you mean to say, he's man who's from a rich family. And, come on, Rafaela?"

I couldn't deny that she was wrong and I choose to ignore her disapproval of his name, "He has a good financial backing, I'm sure, but his family inheritance has nothing to do with why I'm marrying him."

"You say you met him in Italy. Isn't it a little _hard_ to meet someone like that?"

I looked at Aunt Emily and her curious face, taken back by the bite in her tone; although, I doubt she heard it herself as she seemed oblivious. "Mom set up the meeting, weirdly enough. I was scared at first, meeting a total stranger, especially someone _she_ knew. It worked out though."

"My sister? Of course…" She muttered.

"Rafe is a great guy, the kind of person who I'd be comfortable spending my life with."

"So, it's _not_ about the money?" Nessie said suddenly, "Nice houses? Clothes? Fancy cars? How do you know he's the one?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not that shallow. _The one_? No. Just someone who I'm content with. I'm not holding out for anyone."

For the first time all day, they were quiet. Each wore a different expression- I didn't care for Aunt Emilys.

I continued, taking their much-appreciated silence as a blessing, "I came to ask you all to come to my wedding. Sit in those little box seats and watch me get married. It'd mean a lot to me, having your support."

"You really are going through with this?"

"Aunt Emily, I have no reason to say no."

She puckered her lips, as if tasting something incredibly sour, "You are quite young. There will be plenty of opportunities for you in the future to get married. Why limit yourself when you haven't been around long enough to see what else there is out there?"

She had a good point, but I already knew the answer, "Because he treats me well."

Nessie seemed to ignore me, "Emily, she doesn't believe in soul mates. Can you believe that? The girl who used to love princess stories with happily ever afters."

"Oh dear. That's not good."

"I don't think I believe in soul mates either." Abby pouted.

"Don't tell that to Brady." Her mother scolded halfheartedly.

Abby growled and shook her head back and forth, "That guy wouldn't know love if it hit in smack dab in his face."

As I listened to them bicker, I couldn't shake the feeling I was missing something important. It bothered me that they didn't answer my question. To travel across the country to give a wedding invitation in person was a very personal matter for me, and yet they treated it as though I had said nothing. Maybe La Push and I were different now.

Time changes everything after all.

"Claire, are you listening?" Nessie snapped her fingers twice, "You should talk to Quil. He really cares about you. I bet right about now he's sad that you didn't tell him first."

The sun was setting and I wasn't up for any midnight talks with Quil, not after what had happened today, "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Aunt Emily helped me up and brushed my hair from around my face, "I hope you find the path that was meant for you."

--

"_Hey, Quil." I say, twisting myself to the side to get a better view of him, "Do you think stars are just big balls of gas?"_

_There is a thoughtful silence and I feel his chest compress, "I don't know, baby love. They could be aliens."_

"_Aliens? Quil, I think you've been watching too many Sci-Fi movies."_

"_You asked."_

_I snuggle in closer to Quil, enjoying the night air swirling around us, "I was hoping you'd go all Mufasa on me." _

"_Why?" His hand reaches into my hair and starts to pull at my curls, "You would just make fun of acting skills."_

"_You have no acting skills." I point out._

"_See? You shatter my dreams every time…"_

"_Do you ever think that we'll be stars someday?"_

"_Big balls of gas? I don't think I want to be one of those."_

"_They're pretty though."_

_He tucks the blanket he brought with us around me- he can feel the chill bumps on my arms, "Everything is pretty to you."_

_I feel the frown on my face, "Do you think you'd recognize me? Even if I became star? There's just so many of them. I'm afraid I'd get lost."_

"_I wouldn't lose you. You know why?"_

"_No. Why?"_

"_Because you'd be the brightest star up there. I'd always know where you were."_

"_You say the silliest things sometimes."_

--

I met Quil down at the beach the next day. He was sitting on a piece of the many driftwood that lined the beach, stacking rocks up and then knocking them over. His hunched back that straightened was the only indication that he heard me closing the distance.

"Hey stranger."

"Hey."

I walked a few more feet to where my feet skimmed the ocean that waved back and forth. The sea water soaked my shoes. I enjoyed the feeling. "I had a dream about you last night. From when I was little…"

There was a crash as what I assumed were the rocks he was playing with- he didn't respond to me.

"I miss those times, you know, just watching the stars at night. Do you remember?"

"I never forgot."

The corners of my lips quirked up just the slightest, "Quil never forgets anything."

"Are you _happy_, Claire-Bear?" He said from right behind me, making me jump a tiny bit.

"_I_ think so."

A weight landed on my shoulders, the pressure of Quils hands was familiar. He squeezed them gently, "I need you to _know_."

"It's hard to _know_ when everyone around thinks your making a big mistake."

"Have you stopped to think why they think that way?"

I automatically turned and his fingers skipped over my back, "I don't want to know why."

Quils eyes turned dark and they seemed to catch fire, "It doesn't matter what I think? Then why'd you come all this way?"

"Of course it matters." I gulped, "I…I came to ask you all to come to my wedding, but I had something important to ask of you."

He snorted and crossed his strong arms, I could see they tensed and relaxed repeatedly. Quil didn't look friendly- this was intimidating. For the first time, I wondered why I still expected things to remain the same as they had been four years ago. In this moment, it felt like such a long time ago.

A bubbly feeling rose up in my stomach, and I was unsure of how to say what I needed to. My throat felt like cotton. Was I nervous?

I took a deep breath and stuffed my hands into my pockets, "Dad is walking me down the isle and he's kind of refused to give me away. So, I was wondering if you would do the honor. You're the only person I could see giving me away."

Quil stumbled backwards, and brought his hand to his heart- just as if someone had stabbed him. "Claire," He croaked, "What are you saying? I can't possibly-"

"Don't say no. Please, just think about it."

His breath was ragged as he walked toward me and swept me up into a skeletal shattering hug, "You're hurting me, Claire."

The warmness of Quil seeped into my bones. I didn't understand his sadness, but I owed this to Quil. He needed my comfort. My arms wrapped around his large frame and I pulled his head down to my shoulder. The tightness of his arms hurt my back; his fingers clung to my skin, burying them in my shirt, sending flames into my shoulders.

"Don't leave me."

"Oh, Quil. I couldn't leave you. I'll come back to visit."

He jerked backwards and used his hands to cup around my face to make me watch him, "I have to tell _you_ something. It's very important, but I need you to trust me."

My heart thudded with his face at such a close distance, a weird, fierce-like expression on his face, "You're scaring me."

"No, Claire." His body shook for a moment and he let me go, only to start pacing in front of me. Sand sprayed around his feet as he moved, he was walking so fast that it looked like he was just taking a few long strides and then turning back around. "I've kept a secret from you. One that is the biggest secret you'll ever hear."

"Secret?" I asked confused, "Quil, what are you going on about?"

"We spent our lives developing this nice friendship and what I don't understand is why it backfired. It wasn't supposed to end like this." He seemed to be thinking aloud, "Claire, my people are descended from wolves- you heard this many a time, correct?"

"Sure, Uncle Sam used to tell me stories of spirits and men who could change into wolves."

"Good, you remember." Quil reached back to untie his hair, "I'm one of those men who can change into wolves. A _werewolf_."

My mouth went slack and laughter escaped, "That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You need new jokes Quil."

"Why do you think your mom moved you? Because there's a side effect when it comes to being a wolf."

I could feel my grip on reality slowly losing focus as my brain went haywire, "You're saying this side effect is the reason for everything? Do you even hear yourself? Wolves? Werewolves? What's happened to you?"

"You left because I imprinted on you!"

"_Right_, what's that?"

"I fell in love with you."

"That's what this is about? You have to make up stories just say you're…_what_?" It registered what he said, "You're in love with me?"

"I only see you. I only think of you. Claire, you're the absolute reason why I'm alive right now." Then his warm hand rested on my cheek, "What I've told you, all of it, is not a lie."

"Why? Why now?" My voice sounded breathless.

"Because you're about to escape from my grasp, forever."

Words kept rushing out of my mouth, "But I'm getting married and we've never been more than friends. You're much too old for me."

It was his time to laugh, a very bitter laugh, "Another side effect. Youth."

"It has to be a lie. No one turns into wolves or magically falls in love or stays a teenager for the rest of their life. It's _impossible_."

Quil grabbed my upper arm and started to pull me into the dewy forest. "I'll show you the impossible. I'll prove it to you. I won't let you leave me."

My breathing sped up, "Quil, you're acting like a mad man!"

He ignored me.

I stumbled through the thicket, mowing over limbs, and bushes as Quil dragged us further into the surrounding woods until he stopped.

"Stay." He commanded.

He disappeared from my view and then I was alone, in the middle of nowhere. I rubbed my arm, feeling a slight sting where his hand had left an impression. What had happened to Quil? He was suddenly this crazy lunatic spouting nonsense. Mythical creatures? Eternal youth? Poor Quil, he had lost his mind.

After a few minutes, I had this nauseous feeling that something bad was about to happen. The hair on my neck stood straight up and I got a prickly sensation that someone was watching me. Waiting for me. It was the most unusual feeling, and as I turned, I came face to face with a gigantic creature from the abyss.

The muzzle of the creature was large enough to consume my entire body- large enough to take off my head. Its body - a chocolate colour- being as massive as it was, was in a submissive pose. Even as I tried to take the creature in, it seemed too big for my eyes, as if, no matter where I looked it's big body was there, filling my vision.

I could feel salty water leaking from my eyes and like anyone, seeing a threat to their life, my instincts kicked in.

I screamed.

* * *

I don't know when I'll update again. I'm sleeping most of the day now thanks to the medication I'm on- not to mention I have low iron which makes me tired.  
I'm going to the doctor again (went a week ago cause of a hernia) Monday 'cause apparently my blood work is abnormal -hence the low iron- so I don't know what else is wrong. I hope nothing serious. *Sad face*  
So there are probably mistakes, but I hope that this chapter is legible and not just a page full of nonsense.

Thanks for reviewing~!


	5. Torment: A Heart is Calling

I feel like the devil himself for taking so long to update (7 months!). What really kills me is that this story has been here since '08, a few more months and it'll be two years! With only five chapters to boot!

Anyway, I rewrote this chapter several times, making it longer~! Yay.

I'm sincerely sorry that I've not updated sooner. No beta, so all mistakes are my own. D:

On the bright side, I have so much creative energy that I can't wait to spit out another chapter.

* * *

**Previously**:

After a few minutes, I had this nauseous feeling that something bad was about to happen. The hair on my neck stood straight up and I got a prickly sensation that someone was watching me. Waiting for me. It was the most unusual feeling, and as I turned, I came face to face with a gigantic creature from the abyss.

The muzzle of the creature was large enough to consume my entire body- large enough to take off my head. Its body - a chocolate colour- being as massive as it was, was in a submissive pose. Even as I tried to take the creature in, it seemed too big for my eyes, as if, no matter where I looked it's big body was there, filling my vision.

I could feel salty water leaking from my eyes and like anyone, seeing a threat to their life, my instincts kicked in.

I screamed.

* * *

My screams didn't let up as I tumbled backwards, landing hard on my backside. My hands pulled, palms digging into the ground, sliding until I hit the trunk of a tree. The bark hugged my neck, creating wounds as I pressed myself even further into it. A vain attempt at trying to save my life, but an attempt nonetheless.

Horrific sobs soon took the place of the shrilling screams, and coughs shook my chest as it heaved with exertion. My legs crammed near my chest and I fumbled with my hands, feeling for some sort of weapon to protect myself. There were only sticks and pebbles and leaves. Nothing that would do damage. Nothing that would save me. No one would hear me.

I was going to die.

_Alone_, by myself, my only company a godforsaken creature. I prayed for a swift and painless death.

The creature, what I couldn't even begin to describe, just stared at me. It was as if it was waiting for something. It was unmoving with its glossy eyes which seemed to never leave my face. I expected it to start snapping my body in half at any instant, to eat me, or drag me off toward its friends if it had any. The thought of being ripped to pieces sent my body into a shuddering mass.

As I cowered against the tree, chills sweeping my entire body, the creature took a step forward. Slow, steady, and very deliberate. It was testing me, I realized, but the thought was overshadowed by the turmoil wrecking havoc inside me. Rational thought was no more, only the crazed fear that I was about to die.

I squeaked and shielded my face with my fists, but my not my eyes. Never my eyes. I wanted to see everything, to look my killer in its eyes, "Stop…Go away…" My voice was a harsh whisper, choked with sobs and tears.

The thing heaved its chest and settled back onto its haunches. Then it did something unbelievable. Right before my eyes, I saw it shimmer and then _transform, _like in one of those sci-fi movies Quil was addicted to. It was quick, going from creature to naked man in a blink of an eye. The nausea reared up again, this time in a more potent form. The bile settled in the back of my throat, I could taste its bitterness. Then my eyes traveled upwards, feeling as if they would pop out of their sockets at the sight of a naked man taking the place of the beast, until I saw _his_ face.

It was Quil.

Shock made my jaw fall slack and for a single moment, everything stopped. The dull roar of blood pumping in my veins, the sound of the leaves shaking in the breeze, all was nonexistent. The last few seconds replayed. Quil dragging me into the woods claiming he was a werewolf, him leaving, a monster appearing, and then Quil reappearing as if this was some circus act he had preformed a thousand times. If only this was a magician's act with mirrors strategically placed, but the pounding of my head and the crust of bark against my skull reminded me I wasn't asleep in my room.

This was a real nightmare of the trusted kind.

Quil covered himself and leaned toward me. One of his hands was outstretched, silently beckoning me to take it, to trust him, "Shh, its okay, you can stop crying now. Everything is okay. I promise. Come on, Claire."

I was glad my hands were over my mouth, for another scream rippled through my chest. A delayed reaction.

"Claire, it's me Quil. I'm still the same."

I shook my head and pieces of hair stuck to my face, "No. Not the same." My legs were already pushing me to the side, "You're a monster."

"No, Claire. A monster doesn't have control over what it does- I do. I'm alive in there, when I become a wolf."

"_Monster_." I said again, getting my footing and throwing myself away from him. My knees landed on a pile of sticks, but I got right back up, feeling the debris from the ground stick to me. I didn't bother to wipe it off.

I ran blindly. I could hear Quil behind me begging me to stop so he could explain, but I didn't slow down. I was aware he was gaining on me. I could hear his deep breathing and then my arm was jerked backwards. It felt as if my arm was popped out if its socket the pain at the sudden contact.

Quil wheeled me around and locked me in his arms. "Listen to me, Claire." His voice was a stoic command. He smoothed the damp hair from my face and stroked my back as I went rigid in his embrace, "If I could have spared you from seeing what I am, trust me, I would have never let you see that. But I am what I am and there is no shame in that- this is my heritage, I am a warrior for my people. A person, one of a handful, who can change their shape into a wolf."

"There…there are more of you? More monsters?" My voice surprised me, giving me a start.

"We are not monsters, Claire-bear. I am only flesh and blood; surely you can see that for yourself."

"You're not the same. You've lied to me, made me believe in you. I…I trusted you."

He sighed, expelling a large gust of air, "I've never lied to you. Not once. Now, I'm entrusting you with my biggest secret, because I know, deep down, you can handle it."

I closed my eyes, fighting the numbness that was quickly engulfing me, "You're not a police officer." I heard myself mumble.

"I do exactly what a police officer does. I protect and serve, lay my life on the line, while all the while hoping against hope I go home unscathed."

Everything started to lose focus after that. Dimmer and dimmer. _I wish I could believe in you, but you've lied to me. _My mind whispered. My lungs crushed against my chest, feeling too small in the large space they were in. My breathing increased, but only short air spurts came out.

The world turned, tipping to the side, and I eagerly joined the pain free darkness.

--

I awoke with a start, automatically turning my head to heave. A pan was stuck in front of my face as I emptied my stomach.

"You should be glad I have a strong tolerance to this sort of thing." Abby said as I sputtered and coughed.

A cloth was laid back on my head, it damped my hair, but I was sure it was already wet to begin with.

"This is actually the third time you've thrown up. You made yourself sick."

"Don't remind me." I moaned, sounding like a toad.

"Oh, I intend to." She came back a moment later with a clean pan, "I'm acting as the go-between for the time being. Ironic, if I do say so. Have you recovered your sanity yet?"

Abbys train of thought was erratic, but I was glad she could ramble on, "Yes." I replied drowsily.

"Great. It would suck if you just so happened to conveniently forget everything that happened. What I don't understand is how you freaked out. Honestly, your screams were terrible. Even _I_ didn't scream that loud. Not that I screamed at all. What was going through your mind? Are you hungry?"

My stomach protested the thought of food right away, "No. Not hungry." I paused and chewed on my lip. She was waiting for my other answer, one I couldn't give.

One thing I was absolutely certain of was that I was unharmed. There were no scratches, besides the ones I had given myself, and only a dull pain in my shoulder. Now that I was out of deaths door, everything started to come into perspective. Quil Ateara was a werewolf. There was no denying what I had seen. One had to be blind to object.

But what _exactly_ had I seen? A wolf? A monster? A man with both bloods? Just who was Quil Ateara? If he was to be trusted he wasn't a monster, merely a man with a wolfs body. I was aware when Abby had left me, probably sensing my need to be alone, to understand. When I tried to think of Quil as a monster, my mind wouldn't let me. I saw him as I always had. A strong friend, who cared about me, who was there when I wanted trouble or laughs.

What was the truth? I would know the next time I saw him. I would know if he was a monster.

That led to another thing: Quil was supposedly in love with me. How could one claim such a thing? I tried to recall what he had said, something about imprinting. Why had he said that before he said he loved me? Whatever imprinting was, it tied him to me. I worked to climb over a mental wall that had built itself up. If imprinting made him love me, then was that truly love? Was it some sort of biological reaction?

If this was just a ruse, Quil was taking it too far.

But what if it wasn't. What if Quil was really in love with me, despite him being older than me, a mythical creature, did it all really matter? I was getting married to Rafe. I had made a promise to him. He was the only decent man who had proposed to me, claiming his love and adoration for me. Was I suited to be a daughter-in-law to a diplomat? Little seeds of doubt assailed me.

What was wrong with me! I had never second-guessed my choice of a husband. He was good through and through, kind, always with a tender word or compliment. Mother was happy with the choice, or shall I say utterly thrilled beyond the brink of sanity. It was as if she were the one getting married.

I suddenly sat up, my back ramrod straight. Just _who_ was the one getting married? My arms were a mass of gooseflesh at the thought. I was living out my mothers dream. I was marrying the man she wanted me to, a man she would have picked for herself. At once, I knew I had no control over my life. No matter that I was an adult. No matter that I had a brain. I wasn't allowed to have choices because mother was looking for ways to advance her family. I was just another stepping-stone, at the cost of love and freedom, she would do anything. We had moved because of Quil, he was the reason for so much distance, for the cold look in my mothers' eyes.

The damper thought still did not change anything. I had had the right to reject Rafe and I did not. The wedding was only a short time away. I had an obligation. I wasn't going to back out of my word. My pride wouldn't let me.

"What are you thinking about?"

I jumped at the sudden voice and booming laughter that followed.

Embry was the first face I saw, it broke into a grin, "Jeeze, Quil, if you wanted to scare the poor kid you could have pulled a gun on her."

Quil mumbled an oath.

My mouth was suddenly as dry as cotton. My tongue darted out to wet my lips as my gaze moved to Quil. He was still, warily eying me as if were some wildcat about to attack. I only saw Quil. He was no monster in disguise.

There were no words, so Embry broke the entrancing silence for us. "Seems you've seen what we are."

My blood ran cold for a moment before I realized they weren't going to kill me.

Quil protested when Embry kept running his mouth, "We're still the people you grew up with. We're not monsters." He sneered, then resumed control of himself, "Now, Claire-Bear, I don't bite."

I made a decision right then. One that could patch things up or let things continue as they were, "I never said you did bite." I snapped uncharacteristically.

His grin grew even wider, "You're not dead after all. Just like a little fancy lady, fainting at the first sign of fright. My how things have changed."

I knew he was mocking me for being afraid. Four years ago, I wouldn't have been, but that was then and this was now. There was nothing I could do to change what had happened or alter the time I had spent apart from this family.

Quil nodded his head toward the door, silently saying that Embry was dismissed. After a bow and a curtsy, we were alone.

"What are you people?" The words tumbled out before I had the chance to stop them.

He sighed, obviously thinking I hadn't moved past my thinking of him as some gruesome creature from the abyss. "We are what we are. It's not simple to explain."

I shook my head in frustration and wiped a hand across my face, "I meant what do you do to make you what you are?"

A funny look flitted across his face, "That's not important."

"Not important? I won't tolerate any more lies. You owe me an explanation. If you can't explain things to me fully you shouldn't have told me in the first place!" I panted, my anger getting the best of me.

His brows pinched together and he sank down on the end of the bed, "I'm trying to spare your feelings-"

"That's the last thing I want, especially from you. I thought we were friends. Can't you tell me anything anymore? Must you keep secrets from me?"

"Earlier you were calling me a monster. Why the change, Claire?" He evaded defensively.

I glanced away and rolled my bottom lip between my teeth, "You shocked me. Can you blame me for acting that way? You pull me out into the middle of nowhere to prove some point that was unbelievable and yet you're questioning me on my behavior when you only have yourself to blame." I knew the mistake of my words when they came out, I backtracked, "You shouldn't have kept such a thing from me and you're still keeping things from me. You want me to understand, then explain to me. You want me to believe you, then make me believe."

"I sense you have questions you want to ask me first."

"What is imprinting? What did you mean by that?"

Quil leaned all they way back, until he was reclined, his elbow resting on my foot by his head, "I guess it's time for another story." He settled deeper into the mattress, a forlorn expression on his face, "I was just a kid when I first phased, I mean, shifted into a werewolf. It was because of the Cullens. No, stop, what you're about to say and let me finish. The Cullens had moved back and it set everything in motion. Sam was the first to phase and then one by one we all followed. It wasn't by choice, it was in our blood, a call only we could answer.

"When Sam met Emily, he was dating her cousin, Leah. You've heard the rumors, they were very much in love, but that changed when he met Emily. Emily is the same as you; she was imprinted on by Sam. Nothing can compare to imprinting. It lets you know when you've found your soul mate. It let's you know when you've found the person you've meant to spend the rest of your life with.

"Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. It can hurt people. Innocent people who only want love and acceptance. That's when we learned the devastating effects of imprinting. That's why Collin, Embry, Seth, and Leah haven't involved themselves in permanent relationship with anyone. Sam left Leah for Emily. It wasn't something he could help. His feeling were too strong, a binding fate that was sealed the moment he laid eyes on her. Leah was shaken up, hurt, and bitter. Who can blame her though?

"I'm getting off the point. The point is, imprinting is true love. It takes work just like a normal relationship, but at the end of the day, the feelings are still the same. Never changing. When I first met you, you were only a baby. I loved you then, but it was a different kind of love, a brotherly affection. I knew then, I would spend the rest of my life making you smile. I told myself that when you grew up that feeling would remain the same. Then you came back fours years ago and blew me away. You were a young woman and my feelings changed, whether I wanted them to or not.

"I would never force you into a relationship you don't want, but heaven help me you're talking about marriage and I can't stand it because it's not with me. Do you understand now?"

My heart thumped painfully in my chest. He had thrown his arm over his face, as if to shield himself from his own words. "I've never had romantic feelings for you, Quil. I love you, but it doesn't run that deep. I'm sorry."

"Then why you'd come here? You don't need me to walk you down the aisle; you don't need Emily to be there. So why?"

"You're family…"

"Try again."

"I felt as though I had to! Like there was something I had to do, to see, before I started my new life! I wanted to know everything. To see if things were still the same, if things were continuing without me. I wanted to know what I'd be missing. Is that so wrong?"

"So the bond is that strong." He mused.

"What about the Cullens?" I tactfully changed the subject, "Why did they cause you to phase? Is something wrong with them?"

He groaned, "You really want me to say it. The Cullens are…well, they're, uh, see they-"

"Just spit it out already!"

"They're vampires!"

I dropped back onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Vampires! To think I had spent the night with them…"Nessie? Is Nessie a…a…vam-pire...?"

Quil was hovering over me, waiting for the second bout of shock to set in, "She's what we'll call half and half. Half human, half vampire. They're not like the vampires from movies or storybooks. They feed off animals, because they chose to. They, well, have their own quirks, but they're not the evil creatures you think they are, at least, the Cullens aren't."

"Evil vampires? Ones that eat humans, they're out there?"

He nodded solemnly, "But there's one question I haven't answered yet. Vampires are our immortal enemy. We phased so that we could protect not only our tribe, but also the people we love. The Cullens are on our side, thanks to Jacob and Nessie sealing they're union."

"He, imprinted on her?"

"Yes."

"The Cullens are our friends?"

"That's right."

"And Nessie is a mix."

"It's in here that counts, Claire-bear." He touched his heart briefly, "Can I ask you a question now?"

"You've earned the right, after all you've said." I told him dazedly.

His big hands enclosed my face, and the look he gave me was incredibly tender, his eyes revealing his emotions, "Stay here and let me change your mind. Let me see that you really don't love me. If nothing changes your mind, if you truly just want to stay friends, I will let you go. I won't stop you from marrying the wrong man. But, if for one second, I see you feel the same way about me, I won't let you go."

"Quil…"

"Just until the last moment, stay with me, Claire. That's all I ask."

* * *

Chapter 5: complete. Chapter 6: commencing.

This is my favourite chapter so far. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. :D


	6. Dorothy: 3 Clicks & I'm Home

It's been so long, I feel like I'm a new ff author again.

* * *

**Previously:**

_"Can I ask you a question now?"_

_"You've earned the right, after all you've said." I told him dazedly._

_"Just until the last moment, stay with me, Claire. That's all I ask."_

_

* * *

_

Quil had been determined to let his feeling be known. If I hadn't been sure he was telling the truth before, I knew he was now. Even if he turned into a giant wolf, he was still my Quil, and one thing my Quil didn't do was lie about his feelings. Beyond that, I knew, deep, _deep_ down, I would always believe Quil even if I didn't always want too. Truth be told, I wished this was a dream, that none of this had happened, and that Quil was a big fat liar. It was a jolt to think that if I had never gotten on the flight to Washington, I would have never known. …I knew better than that, the time would have came eventually; getting married was just the catalyst.

What if I _did_ stay with Quil? Did that qualify as being unfaithful? He said he wanted to change my mind, but what did that entail? If Quil kissed me, it could ruin our friendship. His love was one-sided; didn't that already cause a riff? I pondered that question. No, it didn't feel any different, because Quil wouldn't force his feelings on me. He wasn't asking me to live with him, but he was practically saying, "Let's have a trial relationship."

The sad thing was that Rafe deserved better if I couldn't say no to Quil. But didn't _I_ owe Quil better than that? He had snuck me out of my house countless times, took beatings for me, verbal abuses, and God knows what just so I could do what I wanted, and when I asked Quil for something it was automatically done. No questions asked.

I liked Quil, he was handsome, and smart sometimes, but that didn't change anything. I was engaged and practically walking down the aisle already.

"You ask for the impossible." Why did it feel as if I were betraying him by saying no?

"Because you're engaged?"

"Yes." He shrugged as if the fact didn't mean anything to him, "That doesn't bother you? Wooing someone who belongs to another?" My brows knitted as I spoke, I didn't consider myself as a possession, someone who was branded, but hadn't I implied just that?

His face flushed. Quil had taken my words the wrong way I learned, "You and this man have…?" He waved his hands in a rolling motion, not wanting to take the leap and finish his question. Even his eyes, which refused to meet mine, darted everywhere except on me.

I was the next to flush. The blaze worked its way to my ears and past my neck, "How can you ask that? How _dare_ you!" I spluttered on and gaped at him, far more embarrassed than angry and possibly a little amused that he couldn't say the words that he was trying to imply.

"I want to know."

"What difference does it make?" I sucked in a deep breath and rolled my eyes heavenward, "What I want to know is how you could think I was so loose? What is _wrong _with you, Quil? I'm not freely giving. You're _so_ insensitive!"

Quil smiled then, tension fading from his neck, "I don't think you're loose, baby love, but I have my answer."

Why did it matter if I was a virgin or not? Or intimate with someone? Though, honestly, a little pressure was off my chest. I didn't want Quil to think I was some cheap ride who'd come back to screw all of La Push. I didn't want _anyone _to think that of me- I'd seen and heard plenty of people talk about my sister. I never wanted to put myself in her position. I might have been a virgin, albeit, only to that of actual penetration (all of which being thanks to my fiance), but why did Quil see the need to smile as though he had jumped on some big secret. I didn't like it.

"Oh?" I felt the need to needle him in the ribs, "And you, Quil, have you been intimate with anyone lately?"

I almost laughed as he puffed out like bullfrog. He had taken offense. "Now that is none of your business. Besides, a lady doesn't go asking about that sort of stuff."

"You did."

"I never claimed to be a gentleman either, did I?"

"You didn't deny being a lady."

A smile played upon his lips, "Alright, that's enough of your tongue today."

I sighed as I returned to our original question and gave it some thought. Quil sensed the abrupt change and started to rub soothing circles on the back of my hand, "If you're like this Quil, I can stay. If you're just my best friend who doesn't want more, I can stay. If you're determined to prove something that's false, I won't stay. I can't. Do you understand? You're asking me to go behind my fiancés back for a tryst. If I can't say no to this, then what kind of person am I?"

"The kind that's human. The kind that goes through trial and error. I'm asking you…Hell, what am I asking you?" Quil raked his fingers across his eyes and then once around his head, "I guess, I want to go on a date with you and hold your hand as we walk along the beach. I want to kiss you until you realize that we were meant for each other, until all you think about is me."

"_Stop_."

"I want you to stop thinking about marriage with this Italian muffin cake and think about marriage with me. To me. Us. _Together_."

"This isn't working." My hands made fists and they dug into my ears.

"The hell it is. You're just too stubborn."

"Quil. I can't-"

His eyes narrowed into half-moons, gears turning, coming to his own conclusions, "How long did you actually plan to stay? Just long enough to rub it in my face?" When my teeth meshed, making an irritating grinding noise, he took my chin and shook it, "How long, Claire?"

I jerked abruptly back, "You can't throw your weight around every time you want to get your way, but for your information I don't think I'd like to even stay the rest of the week if you keep this up!"

Quil removed his hands as if I singed him. For the first time I knew I had hurt him. It had been an unconscious thought until now, but secretly I had wanted to make him hurt for hurting me, for lying, for keeping secrets. Now that I had, I felt like a rotten egg. What was that saying? _Two wrongs_ don't make a right.

No, the saddest thing was that Quil deserved better than _me_.

"He's got money, right? Enough to buy you whatever you want. He's got status, high enough to get you into all the social circles with gentlemen in duck suits and ladies who look like swans. I bet he's got enough charm to choke on." Quil spoke in one breath, and took another, ready to keep going.

"What is this? What do you actually want to say?" I demanded, swinging my legs off the bed. My heart was beating in my throat and the air swooshing out of my lungs didn't seem like nearly enough. The palms of my hands itched with the need to move, to slap, to punch. I wasn't a violent person, I could get angry, but the fury of a mad was new to me.

"You've become your mothers clone." _Three wrongs_?

That simple statement tore at me as I physically flinched from the verbal fist. Becoming my mother was not on my agenda. To be told so by the person who knew me best was a blow to the face. I could feel my chin tremble and lips poke out into a pout as if I had been hit, the sting was there, the pain, and the knowledge that I had to strike back.

"I wonder why? Who never came for me? Who never stopped her from taking me away?" _Four wrongs _and now we come full circle. It didn't stop there, no, a haze built itself up as I continued, "I've become the kind of person who'll take everything away from you. Who'll suck you dry, and when you're spent I'll throw you away and move onto to some other way of getting exactly what I want. Because I'm a conniving person and I learned from the best. Is that what you want to hear?"

We glared at each other, both our chins jutted out at stubborn angles, and both waiting for the other to come out with another attack. I was breathing hard, so much so it hurt. Quil had shot back, eyes dark and hooded, his mouth compressed, but his anger dissipated faster than mine did, I could see it fade almost as quickly as it had come.

Quil sighed, as his thumb started to graze lazily on my cheek, "Sorry, I didn't mean it." He drew away slightly, realizing he had been unconsciously leaning in, "I didn't have the authority to stop her. You might have been my life, but you were her daughter. That trumps. I couldn't compete. Your dad, he tried. He really tried, even Sam, but she wouldn't listen. I'm sorry if you thought I'd forgotten you. I'm sorry if my actions hurt you. I was wrong."

I looked away, ashamed I had even brought the subject up, but glad he was ignoring my last outburst. Then something Aunt Emily said entered my mind, "I did try to write you, but I didn't know the address. I asked mother, but she told me to forget you, that I wasn't to see you again. She ignored your existence completely. I never forgot you either. You're my best friend Quil. I don't like fighting with you."

"Neither do I, baby love." He pulled me back then, settling his shoulder on top of mine, my face pillowed on his chest. His fingers ran down my back, making unidentifiable patterns, "Don't stay if you don't want to."

With those simple words, all arguments for the time being became invalid. I couldn't deny him. "I want to stay. Just for a little while longer."

* * *

The next few days were a flourish of excitement and homecoming. The whole gang was back together after almost half a decade's absence. Nessie and Uncle Jay had extended their stay, opting to spend the rest of the week at the Cullens. I knew their reason well, because Nessie and I had avoided each other. It was for the best of both of us if I had time to adjust to this new way of life. The life of an imprint via Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam, of understanding the importance of patrols, the fuses that could ignite one to explode, and most importantly their ravenous appetites. Apparently, it was common courtesy to have your pantry and icebox packed with food- in case of emergencies (meaning when Uncle Sam or Aunt Emily didn't want to put up with their crap and barricaded them from the house). I found I loved being surrounded by family, even if that family wasn't quite human.

I'd come accustomed to t-shirts and Nikes, much to my amusement. There were some habits that didn't die and this was obviously one of them. I had easily slipped back into old Claire, reverted back to a different personality. Almost _too _easily. Although, the old Claire was back, I knew it was just temporary. Every night, when I turned down my covers was also the time when I became my true self. It was when I was alone that my inner demons came out to play. I thought a lot about my impending marriage and I tried to picture myself pregnant, and becoming a mother like my sister. I tried to think of life in the future, as a wife and mother. Would I be poised and collected, always looking for a stepping stone like my own mother? Or would break under the pressure of being such an important mans wife? No, the last wasn't true. I had been to several events with Rafe and passed with flying colors.

I liked Rafe. That was enough.

_Wasn't it_?

I didn't let myself think past that because I was a happier person these days. Freer, with little to no worries (when I wasn't by myself). My life back east was just a distant memory that I tried not to think about. It took a lot of occupying to keep myself from thinking about the messages that were piling up in my voicemail. I could guess whom they were from. My poor phone was hidden in the back of my closet, if I couldn't see it, it wasn't real.

Days like today were easy to get lost in. It was late in the afternoon, slightly breezy, the sky was streaming with pink streaks and beauty, but I was still out on the beach picking through the sand hoping to find a treasure. The only thing I'd been lucky to find was a coke can top.

My calves were aching from the strain of duck walking up and down the shore and my head was pounding from the never-ending stress on my eyes. Like a fool, I had avoided wearing my glasses.

I was just rubbing my achy lids with the back of my hand when I heard Quil's voice, "Did you find a _pity_ _wock_, Claire-Bear?"

"Looking more along the lines of sunken treasure or maybe find a portal to a planet full of looted treasure, like Jim Hawkins."

There was a brief silence, "Wasn't that an Island?" He asked slowly.

"I don't know. I watched the Disney version." I said, as if that explained everything.

His rumble of laughter trailed until he was beside me, squatting down looking to see what I had accomplished in the last few hours, "No treasure."

"No treasure." I agreed, "Just a bottle top."

He laughed again and patted my head affectionately, "Maybe you should think about heading inside. You're already looking a bit peaked. Come on, suns going down, time to go home." All at once, he made the decision for me as if I were no more than five and incapable of making thoughts and actions for myself. I had the weirdest feeling of deja vu as he looked down at me with those intimidating eyes. The "I'm telling you what to do so you better listen, kid, if you know what's good for you." eyes.

"Maybe I want to swim."

"In your jeans?"

My cheeks puffed out a bit. Old Claire was looking for a comeback, begging to have a little fun, "Maybe." I stood suddenly, prickles shooting down my legs as I edged my way toward the water. I had pancake legs and I teetered a little to the side as I walked.

"Stay out of the water, Claire. It's too late to swim."

A naughty grin wormed its way onto my face, "Says who?"

I had worked my way into ankle deep water when Quil too me by the arm and started to haul me back, "C'mon. You'd catch a cold and Emily would blame me for not taking care of you. Don't – Hey! Is this funny to you?" My feet had kicked up water, effectively drenching the back of his pants and the front of mine.

I dug my teeth into my lips, desperately trying to keep my laughter under control. That's what it was, laughter, a bright happy sound that exploded through me. I felt lifted, as if a burden was gone. Laughing for the fun of it and laughing because you had to were two different feelings. This is what I had been missing. A world without laughter, now that I had rediscovered it, how could I live without it? The shell around me was cracking. What would happen when it broke?

Quil himself looked startled, but it only took a second before his chuckles started chorusing with mine. He hooked an arm over my shoulders and squeezed once, "Feels good doesn't it?" He asked as he planted a kiss in my hair.

"The best."

"You've changed."

"No." I denied as the sun fell, "I've just come home."

* * *

This chapter isn't very long, 'cause that thing called "life" decided to choke me. And...this has actually been sitting in my hard-drive for quite awhile.  
On the plus side, I bought a laptop. Now, I don't have to share and I can write whenever I feel like it.

The chapters from now on might be short. I don't think I have it in me to write 8k or more. I AM determined to finish this story. I will not abandon it.

Till next time~!


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